Last night, I read this recent New York Time article on the Japanese art of grieving a miscarriage (see link below). It touched my heart and I thought the statues were adorable. Although I’ve never had a pregnancy or miscarriage, I sometimes think the grief of infertility isn’t so different, especially once the possibility of having children is gone. I think traditions and ceremonies like this are good and important. I think it’s also helpful to find ways to make losses like these tangible with something like a monument stone or statue. All the better, if the grieving can be supported by your family and community. We shouldn’t have to grieve these losses in private, alone, as if nothing of significance has happened. Having a ritual like this is lovely.
Although I don’t have an actual, physical child to mourn, I have lost those several children of my heart, of my hopes and dreams. I’m still hoping and planning to adopt. In the meantime, the work of grief continues.