Here I am – 6 weeks post surgery (endometriosis excision and removal of ovaries). My pain continues to improve and I’m feeling pretty good unless I spend too much time on my feet. My energy level is terrible. I’m still so exhausted!
That’s where the tears come in. I tried to go back to full-time work this week. Monday afternoon, I had a meltdown. I was so beyond tired. I became delirious. I should have just gone home earlier, but I thought maybe I could hang in there to the end of the day. Nope. By the time I decided I had to leave, I was blubbering in my office. I hurried down the hall, hoping I could escape without seeing anyone. Made it to the car, tears pouring out.
I didn’t feel sad. I felt exhausted and like a baby (not in a derogatory way, just that’s the coping skill of a baby when tired). I couldn’t stop crying. I don’t know how much might be from my changing hormones (surgical menopause/HRT), and how much is just leftover from the surgery. I know that fibromyalgia can make it harder to recover from a surgery like this, and it can take longer to get my energy back.
After some rest, I decided I was being ridiculous to try to work so long when I obviously couldn’t. I’ll be working out the paperwork with my doctor to take a little longer to get back up to full time.
There is some good news – I bought a juicer and I love it!! I’m trying to really put a lot of effort into my health. I’ve been eating more veggies (yum!) and feeling good about that. I added juice to get more good healing vitamins and hydration and all that good stuff. And it’s so good! I thought all these people out there in the world juicing were crazy, some kind of fad. No, it’s delicious. And easy.
I’ve been making fun juices twice a day now, different ones every time. I bought a book of recipes and a ton of fruits and vegetables. My favorite so far? Apple, nectarine, and strawberry. Tonight I had peach, strawberry and blueberry. So good.
This is still incredibly difficult. I feel good that my depression seems to be managed and not overtaking me. I have put my focus on physical healing and tried to put some of that infertility grieving off for now, to be dealt with once I’m doing better physically. The surgery pain seems to be much improved, but the fibro pain has been increasing since I’ve been up and around more. My husband is working out of town a lot recently and I feel lonely. It’s tough to take care of things around here without some help. I do go to work, but I spend just about the rest of the evening on the couch. I’m thankful for my pups to keep me company.
So, my self-prescription is for more rest, more veggies, and more juice.
Green juice I bought from a local shop, summer fruit, pasta with cilantro-jalapeno pesto and corn, and tonight’s juice – peaches and berries!
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