Well, the counseling went fairly well today at the fertility clinic. Unfortunately there was a statement that I just haven’t been able to get over.
We were discussing various options –
- Donor eggs and IVF
- Embryo adoption
- Gestational carriers
- Traditional adoption
One of the discussion points about traditional adoption included the process by which birth mothers would review our profiles and choose us.
And then she said…
“Many of these birth mothers might see you as their mother’s age.”
[and suggested that, therefore, they might not picture someone my age as the ideal mother for their child.]
Are you KIDDING me?? I’m 38. I’m not that old. Sure, I could have had a child at 20 who’s 18 and having a child now. I have lots of people in my life in their mid 30s to early 40s who are having babies and have relatively young children. I’m not a standard grandmother age! Am I really so old that birth mothers wouldn’t chose me?
My head is spinning with all of this stuff. And that made me feel so old and discouraged. Like I’m old enough to adopt my own grandchild.
That was not an encouraging counseling session. Okay, maybe it’s true-ish, but she could have kept that tidbit to herself today.