It was hard for me and my husband, but we have finally shared our news about my endometriosis and our infertility with all of our parents and siblings.
I received some wonderful support and suggestions on my earlier post asking for advice on this. Several people recommended emails, Facebook post or note, and sharing my blog. I’m not comfortable at this point sharing this blog. I need this as a place to be anonymous and open, uncensored, honest. I’m still considering a Facebook post or note for friends, but have to really consider how to approach that. For now, we decided to start with an email to our closest family.
I drafted an email and then reviewed it with my husband to make sure he was comfortable with it. I also wanted to get his perspective on what his family would most likely want to know or details that might be too much.
I sent one first to my brother and received a call the next day in response. He was kind and supportive and said I should feel free to call him at any time of day if I want to talk.
We then emailed my in-laws and received emails of response right away that were very loving and supportive. For me, this email was the most difficult to write and send. I didn’t want to tell them. I don’t want it to be true. I hate to share something so disappointing. It affects all of us and I feel like I’ve let them down. I feel guilty. I know that’s not helpful or necessary or real. I don’t need to feel guilty or like I’ve let them down. I know that, but it’s hard to set those feelings aside.
I’m very glad we shared. We’re both feeling better now that they know and better having received their support.
I know that I have to share this with family and friends. I need to tell the story even if it hurts every time. I need to acknowledge that this is real, that these facts are happening, so that I can grieve and find happiness eventually. It’s tempting to hold onto irrational thoughts and hope and escape grief that way, but I can see that path would break me apart even more. I need to confront and acknowledge the reality, I need to share it, and I need to grieve it.
I think I will share something with my friends next. This is really hard for me and I need to just be patient and gentle about it.
There is one important component I would like to do better. Part of why I wanted to share this information was to get more of the love and support that I need right now. In the suggestions that I received on this blog, people suggested I tell people what kind of support we need. I have to admit that I didn’t really do that… I realize that part of why I don’t get the support I need is because I don’t ask for it in an effective way. Maybe that will go into email #2.
Thank you so much for your ideas and support. They’ve helped me immensely!
Text copyright Snowdroplets 2016